Where'd the money go?

There are times when I wish I had a money tree growing on my patio. How that would make life so much easier. Both Payton and I are in need of dental work. We both have about $150 worth of dental work to do. Most of Payton's will be done next week, but it's cutting into our bill money. I'm dreading our electric bill this month since I had to turn the heater on a few times. I'm hoping that these last few days of the a/c unit being completely off will help offset the expense.
The other day I was in HEB and was picking up all of our WIC items for this month along with a few other items we needed. The total came out to a little of $200 and it made me feel nostalgic for the days when we spent that much on fresh foods and it was no biggie. I was happy to swipe my WIC card and our total drop down to $84. But even then, I was sweating over the $84. I kept thinking that I didn't get enough to last up more than a few days and I would be back here again worrying I couldn't afford milk. We barely scrape by, and if it wasn't for our families generosity, we would be homeless or living in a shelter, yet we make too much for SNAP (food stamps) and TANF (assistance for bills, etc.) Not that I ever want to be that person who lives off of government assistance, but isn't it cases like ours that it even exists? Payton and I are both prideful people and hate to ask for any kind of help, but we've been humbled by the birth of our son and this economy enough to stretch out a hand when we need to. It makes me angry to see all of those people abusing the system when there are legitimate claims for help.
Luckily, my husband has a good, stable job working for a bank and has room to grow and move up in the industry and I have recently been hired to teach part time at the university. But with these good fortunes come more problems. Now we've got to find a day care provider and basically half of my monthly income will go towards day care. I was excited when I got this job to think that I'll be making enough that we'll be able to put money back into savings and to pay off any debts, but now it looks as though we'll have enough to just pay the bills and once again, scrape by. At least I can sleep comfortably in the knowledge that if we're really tight with our money, we won't go negative in our bank account. I'm praying that more students sign up for the class i'll be teaching so that I can work full time instead of part time.
I know that harships build character, but I can honestly say that between Payton and I, we've got enough character. I'm ready for the harships to be over with.

Christmas 2010

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What a pain...

Well, today was eventful. I had a cavity in one of my front teeth and apaprently this morning, while eating breakfast, my tooth decided to break! a chunk of the tooth from the cavity down just broke off! At first it didn't hurt, but as the day progressed it started to throb. I finally had to break down and take some Aleive, which helped a little. I feel bad even complaining about it because I know Payton (my husband) has had a horrible toothache for a week now. It's put us both in a very fowl mood!

So, today I was changing Kiernan's (my son) diaper and he kept wanting to sit up. Everyone warned me that when he starts rolling, every diaper change will be a challange. Well, he doesn't want to roll over, he wants to sit up! So there I am trying to keep him laying down so I can deal with this messy poopy diaper. He keeps trying to sit, I keep gently pushing him back down and saying "no." Well, finally I had to say "no" in a very harsh voice and do you know what he did? He laughed! Not just a giggle, but a full on belly laugh! I was prepared for him to cry, not laugh! His laughing got me laughing and then nothing was accomplished. He's such a goofy boy!

Tonight we went to a friend's birthday party and had fun. Payton seemed in good spirits being surrounded by friends. They had a few drinks, we all ate hot dogs and cake. I left Kiernan in the kid's room to play with some of the other children and he did fine for a bit, and then started screaming. I picked him up, let him relax, and then put him back in there. About 10 minutes later he started screaming again. I went back in there and could tell that he was really really upset, so I picked him up and took him back out into the living room. Poor baby. I think one of the other kids was not being ncie to him, but i'm not 100% sure on that. Either way, he wasn't happy. When we got home, we had a bath, bedtime dinner, and then bed!

Well, time to watch some 16 and Pregnant, drink my chocolate milk, and then go to bed. Goodnight world.

Therapy is overrated

I decided to start this blog for two simple reasons. One, this is cheaper than therapy, and two, I can blah blah blah and yadda yadda yadda and nobody HAS to hear me. You can chose to move on to the next blog. It's a win win for the both of us, yes?

I guess I shall start somewhere in the beginning, although i'm not quiet sure where that is. I guess it would be appropriate to share a little bit about myself so that you have a better understanding of who I am. First and for most, I am a wife and mother. My husband and I have been together for almost seven years and married for almost two. My son is a happy nine month old who fills my heart with joy every second of every day. I am a 27 year old college graduate and have lived in the same city my whole life. I am probably the single most boring human being you will ever know. I enjoy staying at home and watching my TV shows or reading a book. I seriously don't like people. I know, I know, "how can you not like people?" It's real easy, I promise you. I am currently on an antidepressant (Lexapro) to help battle my PPD (post-partum depression) and my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Wait, wait wait a minute. Did you just say PTSD? Yes, yes I did. How is that possible, you ask? Well, I may share that some other time.

I don't have many friends. That's just a sad fact in my life right now. It's mainly because I don't trust people and when I do finally break down and start to trust, I trust the wrong ones and end up being used and hurt. I've recently just lost a whole handful of online friends that I thought I was really close with. That hurt. But, that's life, I guess.

Well, as of right now it's the middle of the night and I know my little man will be up before i'm ready. So, for now, good night.